I don't know how many of you already know this, but I'm officially letting the cat out of the bag...
I am...
A SUPERHERO!
Yes, I know, we're not really supposed to reveal ourselves, but I'm still 50% safe because I didn't tell you what my powers are. That will continue to remain my secret until someone finally comes along and figures it out :P As of yet, nobody has...HA!! I'm that good ;)
In all seriousness, I really am a huge believer in superheros. I think they're for REALZ! Not all superheros are like Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne (although I think those are for realz too ;P ), there are some people out there who are genuine heroes...but they're few and far between, unfortunately :/ I was having an interesting discussion the other day with a friend of mine about relationships...and the subject of "The Perfect Man" came up.
Now, being a superhero myself, naturally, I plan to be in a relationship with (and eventually marry) a superhero someday! However...like I said earlier, they're really hard to find. How do I know if I found the right one?? And if there are superheros out there, of COURSE there are going to be villains!! How do I know if the guy I'm with isn't a villain in disguise??
*sigh* Superhero problems...
So...all that to say, while I was having this conversation, it really got me thinking about what I want in a guy. I'll admit, I've been in a couple of relationships that haven't worked out, and even though I'm not really happy about how either one of them turned out, I have to say...I learned a lot. I heard someone say once they think every girl should go through a failed relationship just because of the learning experience. I'm not exactly sure I agree with that, because then every girl who thinks that will go into a first relationship thinking of it as a "practice." I never had that mentality, but I also think I was a little too open minded.
Sooo...
Does Superman exist??
What's he like? How can I tell the difference between him and any other ordinary guy?? Because I'll tell you right now, I'm not settling for anything less than exactly what's intended for me :) And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a Superhero!!
I can definitely describe my perfect man, but first I asked around to see what other ladies thought about their guys or what they wanted to see in a guy. I got some REALLY good stuff that I kinda want to go through :) Plus, I just love getting other people's opinions on things that I don't really know much about. It helps me decide what I might like :)
Jess: The guy has to be respectful and a decent human being. Those are hard to find now a days.
Respect and Decency are definitely good things to look for in a guy! Respect, especially is something that I think EVERY girl is looking for in a guy. But like you said, they're really hard to find now a days...they're few and far between :/ But we can't give up!! They're definitely out there! Me and Jess had a conversation about this once, and we talked about how it's never good to settle for anything less than what we think is the best of the best, no matter how hard it is to find them.
Jenny: goal and family oriented. lets not forget hard working
Ahhhh Goal Oriented! One of the most important things, in my opinion! There are so many guys who are all talk, but they don't actually have plans for their future! Family Oriented is also very important, especially when you're family is important to you. And actually, I think Hard Working goes right along with having goals. It's great if they not only have goals, but if they actually WORK hard towards achieving them! That's a pretty big deal.
Sokha: Well since I have the best boyfriend... Lol my fav quality of him is that he can make my heart beat still after 6 years, he cares about me and loves me like I'm the only girl in the world. Caring, loving, rough,funny, has my back always, awesome in bed lmao the list can go on! And We are still madly in love with each other till this day! Yes I'm one lucky hunny.
If I could describe a perfect relationship, it would probably be Sokhas! I've never met her man, but the way she talks about him and everything I hear about them...LADIES, SHE GOT A GOOD ONE! First of all, Sokha is amazing, and deserves someone amazing...she has a PERFECT view on how relationships should be, and she really got a good one :D I am SO happy that relationships like this still exists, and it definitely gives me hope for my own :) Ok...I could go on and on, but her qualities are definitely ones that should be noted.. Caring, Loving, Rough, Funny, Has Her Back, Good in Bed, and Lasting Love <3 Omg...it's like a fairy tale :D
Aunt Norma: this is what I'd be looking for . Respectful, trustworthy, ambitious, hardworker, good job and money smart, someone who can make me laugh, supports you through thick and thin, not afraid to show affection, listens, puts you first before his wants and needs, athletic, likes going on walks, bike rides or skating together, family man, etc. and we can't forgot have Jesus in his heart. I can keep going but I won't.
And here again we see Respect! Definitely a popular trait :) Trustworthy is also another one that is REALLY important in ANY relationships! You know sometimes you go out and you see girls getting mad at their guys for "looking at her" or guys getting mad at their girls for "flirting with him"..that's a sign of lack of trust. I think it's sad :/ You should be able to trust your partner in whatever situation you're in, whether you're together or not. Ambitious and Hark Working are ones we've seen before, and we can add Good Job and Money Smart to that category! Funny (that is DEFINITELY key for me!!), Supportive, Affectionate, Listens, Put You First...I will elaborate on those later :) Athletic...mmhmmm :) And Family Man! Last but not least, Jesus Focused. Definitely good to have a firm foundation! There are so many good ones in here...
Megan: He makes me feel safe, he's my rock, I can be myself around him, he's my best friend, we can tell each other anything, he accepts and loves me for me and doesn't try to change a thing about me, we have sooo much fun together, he's responsible and goal oriented, he's sweet and caring and makes me feel like the most important girl in the world, he has a great sense of humor, and he's a hunk! lol
Ok, this one STARTS good! Being a Protector is something that every girl looks for. Every. Girl. Not even kidding. Not only that, being able to be yourself around the guy makes him very Accepting, and in my opinion, that's one of the hardest things to find in a good guy. He's a Best Friend, which is key, and we also see responsible and goal oriented again! There's also Sweet, Caring, Funny, aaaand....HOT! Not necessarily needed, but DEFINITELY an amazing bonus :D I also like the fact that he makes her feel important. Sometimes guys tend to undermine girls...but to feel special is an AMAZING feeling.
Lauryn: One who challenges and sharpens me spiritually. One who invests in good friendships, especially our own. One who can lead. The man who loves God more than he loves me.
I pretty much LOVE everything that Lauryn said here! Definitely Spiritually Challenging, since that's what a relationship should be based on! Friendship and Leadership, are DEFINITELY key...and again, we see Jesus focused. Not just Jesus focused in this case, this is more of a Jesus centered kind of perspective. I like this one :)
Angie: Loyalty and open minded. Family oriented, supportive and respectful
We've already seen Loyalty, Family Oriented, Supportive, and Respectful, but my favorite one here is DEFINITELY Open Minded. I feel like there are so many guys out there who are looking for one thing...and if they don't get what they want, they move on. And this doesn't just go for uncommitted relationships, it's for committed ones too! Especially during arguments, you want a guy who will take in both opinions and consider both sides...not just his own. Hard to find a guy like that :/
Briana: Even tho we have our ups nd downs he really is a caring person he has a big ...he is respectful were nd when respect is earned...he is the strength I need wen I feel like I have nothing left he gets me thru it...he is a hardwork nd wen he puts his mind to something he dosnt give up,he makes me laugh all the time,he is smart ,supportive,love it wen he shows affection,nd love spending time wit him even on our bad days... Love him to death/thru thick nd thin...that guy is my life
This is a really interesting one..I've been able to talk to Briana about her relationship a few times in person, and I've never seen a girl more dedicated to a guy, no matter what they're going through! It seems like just when everybody thinks she should give up on the guy, she hangs on a little bit more. Now THAT is dedication! I think the one word here to focus on is Strong, and that's not just for the guy. It's basically for the whole relationship! Perfect :)
Krystie: Spiritual leader. Kind to women children and animals. Loyal. Trustworthy. Good with money. Hardworking.
Definitely a good list of qualities of here! Spiritual leader we've seen before, and Kind to women, children and animals :P I like that one! I like the specifics, especially...it really shows a lot about a guy! I've heard before that a guy will treat his girlfriend/wife how he treats his mother. Not sure how accurate it is, but I definitely think it's a good thing to watch for! And oh my gosh, kind to children?? Absolutely! Loyal, Trustworthy, Good with money, and Hardworking are also ones we've seen before.
Kristen: He's sweet, thoughtful, a faaaantastic hugger! He is always there for me when I need him, gives me good advice, takes care of me when I'm sick, tolerates my chick flicks he never stops loving me, he accepts me as I am, he supports me, he does so much for me, he's loyal and trustworthy, he makes me laugh, and so so much more haha
This is so cute! :D Sweet and Thoughtful, are two favorites! Everybody likes a thoughtful guy :) Aaaaand one of my personal favorites, a Good Hugger! There's nothing like a good hug from a guy you like...they make you feel so safe! He's There for Her, Caring, Loving, Accepting, Supportive, Loyal, Trustworthy, and Funny :) I really like Tolerating of chick flicks! That's definitely a good quality...lolol :D Gives Good Advice? That one is WICKED good and, in my opinion, rare. It's one thing to give advice, but I think it's a really great thing to have a guy who actually thinks about the situation and doesn't just give his opinion, but actually ADVICE!
Kalen: Boys are dumb. Throw rocks at them....
And this one. Dumb. Gotta say, this one is my favorite :D Love you, Kalen!!
(By the way, Kalen is my older sister, and pretty much the greatest person ever :D She's like...a princess, or something specialer than that!)
There...that's all of them!! And now..for my personal opinion...
My dream man looks exactly like this...
*sigh* What a dream boat!! And if you wanna see what I think REAL men should wear, just look at my Pinterest board...
Gentlemen, pay attention :) It's all mostly suits and stuff...still working on casual looks. I'm picky ;P
Now...onto the real stuff. My Superhero will...
...Respect me. And when I say respect, I don't mean that I'll become one of those girls who always brings up the "you have no respect for me!" line during an argument. I never want to feel the need to. If I'm going to get into an argument with Superman, it will NEVER be over respect...because he will have it.
...Be goal oriented. It's really important to me that Superman will have an idea of what he wants to do with his life. He has to have a main plan with what he wants to do, and steps in mind that will help him reach his goal. He has to know what he wants, know what he needs to do to get it, and he has to be motivated enough to go for it. But at the same time he has to...
...Be impulsive with me. Those of you who know me will know that I can be a pretty impulsive person. Not all the time, but when I am, I AM! I'm not insanely crazy, but Superman won't be a kill joy...he'll be fun WITH me :) In fact, he'll come up with his own impulsive ideas and drag me along. Life should be fun!
...Value family. Nothing is more important to me than family. My family needs the world to me, and if I'm even going to be with a guy, he has to understand that and be the same way. He'll love his family, do things FOR and WITH his family, and do the same with mine! Trust me...if he doesn't hang out with my family, he's missing out...and if he doesn't like them, he's leaving. On TOP of that, if my family doesn't approve, there will definitely be some questioning going on. My family is always top priority!
...Be hard working. This doesn't necessarily mean that he'll be working his butt off 24/7. But when he does work, Superman will NEVER do things halfway! If you give him a job, he'll do it, and he'll do it right. And I promise I won't take advantage of that...lol. And it just doesn't go for home life, but for whatever he does for work. If he has a job, it has to be one that will support us and he has to be good at it!
...Be ambitious. This kind of goes along with being goal oriented, but in my opinion, it's deeper. It's easy to have goals and plan to complete them, but they have to be GOOD goals! He'll know what his skills are (and know what they aren't!) and base his goals on that. He'll be motivated and driven to complete the goals based on what he knows about himself. I like a guy who knows what he wants :)
...Have my back. HA!! Important one...I'm always getting into trouble...and never intentionally. Superman will ALWAYS be there for me...through thick and thin. I know the classic wedding vows are like "through sickness and health" and yadda yadda yadda...but seriously. If he's gonna be with me, he'd better be ready for what he has to deal with.
...Be trustworthy. This is a really big one for me. How many times do you go out to the mall or something and see couples together?? Not that uncommon, right? How about when the girl elbows her Mister and says something like, "Stop looking at her." Or he nudges her and says, "Quit flirting with that guy." Unfortunately, that's not uncommon either. Everywhere I go, I always hear about so-and-so cheating on so-and-so and so-and-so saw it and told so-and-so so so-and-so found out and kicked so-and-so out and broke up with so-and-so only to get back together with so-and-so. (If you could follow that, here...have an ice cream. *hands you ice cream*) But in all seriousness, I never want to have that issue with my guy. I'll never have to wonder where he is, what he's doing, or who he's with. And even if I know he's with a group of people that includes other girls, I'll never have to worry because MY superman will be loyal to ONLY me...and I'll trust him with everything I've got.
...Have good communication. Words cannot even express how important this one is. SOOOOO many times I've seen relationships go downhill and even fall apart just because of a lack of communication. I NEVER want to have that issue with my Mister! If there's a problem, we're sure as heck gonna talk about it, because there is no WAY I'm going to lose my superman over an argument, ESPECIALLY if it's just over something silly that we failed to communicate about. Nope..not gonna happen.
...Be supportive. I'll say it right now, I'm a very indecisive person. You know me pretty well if you've heard me say, "I can't do it...I hate making decisions." It's very true. I flip flop all over the place. My superhero will recognize that, and even if it makes him frustrated sometimes, I will NEVER hear the words, "I give up on you" come out of his mouth. I've heard it before, and it's not that fun :/ In fact, it's downright depressing. I need someone who's going to be behind me in my decisions, whatever they are.
...Be a good listener. I talk. A lot. Superman will KNOW that, and he'll listen when I need to be listened to. I understand, there will definitely be times when he won't want to listen to me at all (and that's where communication comes in again) and all he has to do is tell me. But honestly, when I'm having a crisis and just need to talk, he'll be there for me.
...Give good advice. I question so many things in life, and like I said earlier, I hate making decisions. There will definitely be days when I just need someone to talk be through things little by little and help me make a decision. My perfect mister will listen to what I have to say, assess the situation, and give me the best advice he can based on what he knows. He'll be pretty darn smart ;P
...Protect me. What can I say?? Every girl loves protection!! That's something we look for in EVERY guy. There is a line, however, between protection and possessiveness. That line has to be VERY CLEAR. I don't want someone who's going to smother me, and I don't want someone who's going to let me get hurt or ruin myself. I want someone right in between who will be there when I need a knight in shining armor :)
...Be open minded. This is pretty much self explanatory. He'll explore his options, take ALL of them into consideration, and base his decision, beliefs, whatever else on what he knows. Like I said...a smarty pants :P
...Make me feel beautiful. Every girl likes to be told that she's beautiful! From parents, from friends...and especially from guys :) I know I do :P But it's one thing to be TOLD that you're beautiful, and it's another thing to FEEL beautiful! In the past (and even now sometimes) I have a hard time with being self consciousness, not being content with myself, and thinking I'm ugly. Honestly, I think there's a little bit of that in every girl...and that's why guys are created :P My superhero won't just tell me that I'm beautiful, he'll mean it, and I'll know it :)
...Love me for forever and ever. This is no exaggeration. I want him to love me from the day he figures it out until the day he dies. My grandparents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary on June 1st, and it really got me thinking. He's been with her for longer than he's been without her...and he still loves her just as much as he did 50 years ago...and the best part?? It's so evident. The way he talks to her...the way he looks at her...the way he holds her hand and tells her that she's the "prettiest girl in the world." That ladies, gentlemen, and superheros, is true love. and I mean TRUE LOVE. It's absolutely incredible. That's what I want...and I'm afraid that it'll be the hardest thing to find :/
I guess those are all the things that are super important to me. But then again, this guy doesn't TECHNICALLY exists, so the other things that would make him perfect are things like...
....Looks. The perfect man in my head is gonna be a HOTTIE!! I'm not even going to go into detail about my my idea of the perfect man actually LOOKS like...it would take too darn long :P
...Sass. I want a guy with an attitude. Someone smooooth with words, whether it's a charming line to convince you to go out on a date with him, or a snappy comeback when someone insults his lady. The perfect man will ALWAYS have the right response ;)
...Gives good hugs. I used to hate hugs. HATE 'EM! But now I don't, and I actually love them a lot...but ONLY from specific people! I don't like hugging most people...only an exclusive few. If I hug you, you're special...lol :P My Mister will be one of the ones I hug, because he will give PERFECT hugs :)
...Has a good reputation. I really don't know what to say about this one. I had it written down, and I guess it would be a good thing in a guy, but I'm judge free...literally. I think a person's past is the past, and who they are at the present is who they are. The only past I have a hard time with is my own, but when it comes to Superman's, I guess reputation isn't on the top of the "must have" list.
...Is athletic. Maybe I just want him to be athletic to make up for my NONathleticness....if that's even a word :S Or maybe I just need a guy who's going to push me to keep up with him and stay in shape. Yeah...that's what I need...SMOKIN' HOT MOTIVATION!! aka...a six pack ;P
...Wears 007 James Bond cologne. Yes....this is the cologne of superheroes! Lol...if not this, then Ferrari Blakc...or DKNY...or Usher. I'm not REALLY picky, but he DOES have to smell good :P
...Is taller than me. Believe it or not, this is actually a pretty big one for me. I really would rather NOT look down at a guy...I don't know, it just seems weird :S Please tell me I'm not the only girl...
...Is older than me. This isn't really a huge deal to me, but honestly, I think that might be what's best for me. Just from my experience, guys my age or younger just aren't where I
want them to be. That sounds kinda weird. What I'm trying to say is that I want my guy to be a few years older than me, and therefore more mature than guys my age. I don't like the way they act :S Granted, I've met (not dated) a few that are mature for their age, and that's fine! But I guess I just appreciate older (and by older, I mean no more than five years older than me.) men :P
I seriously thought I had more, but I guess not. By the way, if you've actually read all the way to the end, I congratulate you...and I also apologize that you wasted so much precious time in your life reading my rambling 2-in-the-frikkin-morning opinions. Have a chocolate bar. *hands you chocolate*
Anyway...I might as well repeat right now that I already know that the man that I have in my head does NOT exist. I didn't write this blog post with a specific guy in mind. There is nobody in the world who looks, acts, or speaks like the superhero I have in my head right now. But that doesn't mean that I'm giving up on all men...nope! That would be dumb :P
How can I expect the perfect man when I'm definitely not the perfect lady??
I guess that's what it all comes down to. I don't know how many of you have seen the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower, but there's this line in the movie that I really like...
"We accept the love we thing we deserve."
Sometimes our expectations for ourselves are different from what they should be. That's not to say that the guys I dated weren't good enough for me. They were great guys! They just weren't for me. I think I rushed too much...I didn't think through what exactly I wanted/needed for myself and my personality. Now that I'm thinking more about it, I've decided to wait to make a commitment until I'm sure he can handle me, I can handle him, and most importantly, that we can handle each other as a couple :)
I'm not sure any of this made sense, but at least I finally wrote it all down. It'll be interesting to look back on someday, that's for sure! For now, the quest for superman continues!! I've met so many interesting people in my life, and mostly in the past two years. I really enjoy getting to know people, both guys and girls, and it's really given me a great perspective on life, friendships, and relationships. Everybody is different, but for every different person, there is a somebody who's differentness matches up :) ...yeah, whatever...doesn't make much sense :P But what really does??
Ciao!
PS...bonus question for *ahem* ...the person who requested it. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! :P
*WHAT MAKES A GUY HOT??
The answer?? A combination of all of the above ;) My physical description of a hot guy?? Good hair (I prefer brown or black, but I'm pretty open minded!), stunning eyes, a good nose, perfect teeth, well built (as in...he works out...muscular and steamy...lol), taller than me, and smoooooooth, baby, smoooooth...lol :D I hope that answers your question!
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