Ok...I'm gonna go ahead and make the statement that everybody always uses...
My mom is the greatest mom in the whole wide world.
I'm not even joking.
Guys, I'm sure you all love your mothers, and I'm sure they're all AMAZING!! In fact, I've met a lot of your mothers, and I love them...sooo much! They're amazing, not just because of what they do or say, but just for the fact they they are moms in the first place! Being a mom takes special talents (no, I am NOT speaking from experience!) and not many women in the world have those special talents. But your mom does, and that's one of the things that makes her so awesome!
But let's be honest here. My mom is the best mom. Ever.
Why am I all of a sudden saying that? Just because I can :)
I've been living here in Haverhill in my apartment for almost a year now...it'll officially be a year on June 16th, and I have to say, I've really enjoyed it! It's kind of what I've always wanted...living all alone, using my creativity to customize my own little living area, going back and forth to work independently, stuff like that. It's been fun, it most certainly has. But ya know..there are just those days...
I grew up in a pretty big family, so jumping from living with 10 other people to living with 0 other people has been a really difficult adjustment. There are just those days when I really want to be with people and to go back to the way things used to be. Today was one of those days.
School and work and other situations have been REALLY stressing me out lately...and that's not a good thing. When I get stressed out or upset, I tend to either have a breakdown, eat everything in sight, or I just start doing things to try and distract myself...not always good things, either :/
Those are the times when I really want my mom :'(
This afternoon, I sat down and talked with my mom on the phone for almost two hours! I'll tell ya, it was one of the best conversations I've had in a really long time :) I'm starting to realize that no matter how many people go in and out of my life, my mom (and my whole family for that matter, but specifically my mom.) has been one of the only ones to actually stick around. She's always there to encourage me and make me feel better, even when I'm crying. And trust me...it's hard to make me feel better when I start crying...I'm literally an emotional puddle of slime and tears on the floor :S Try making a puddle happy...no, really...I dare you.
I think no matter how hard I try, I'll never be able to explain how much I actually love my mom. There's just to much going on there to explain.
Something we talked about tonight was love...a subject that I have a really hard time discussing. I mostly have a hard time with it, because I'm starting to realize (with the help of my mom) that I actually don't understand what it really is. Yes, I can feel love. I can see love. I just don't know how to accept it for myself, or even understand what it ACTUALLY is. That was a huge wakeup call.
I mean, I've been loved by sooooo many people my whole life, why is it so hard for me to understand?? I wish I knew. Something I really love about my mom is that she's always completely honest with me. If she doesn't know the answer, she'll tell me. And she did. She told me that she doesn't have the magic pill for making me see love or feel it or understand it. But she doesn't really stop there...she doesn't give up on me. She gave me ideas on what I should try...and I'm going to :)
I don't really want to go into it. In fact, I CAN'T go into it. How can I discuss something that I can't even explain? All I know...is that I'm gonna try something new...and see where it takes me in life. My mom is a GENIUS!!
My whole point for this whole post was really to just tell you guys that I love my mom, and that she's the most amazing, loving, caring, selfless, wise, and beautiful person in the whole world. I don't think there's any way I could have survived on the earth this long without her. She will always and forever be my favorite person in the whole world.
I love you, Mom <3
