Story of my life.
Thinking back on those moments in life, I really remember that my first reaction would have been to turn around and run away...and in some situations, curl up into a ball and cry, thinking about how horrible I am and make a list of everything that must be wrong with me. (Not necessarily in the "running into the door" story, but more difficult situations.) I have to confess, I have reacted like that before. It's pretty childish, I have to say. But usually after a cold shower, a good movie, or a long walk, I'm able to refocus on what's important.
I think that's the hardest part, though. How do you know what to focus on when the only thing that seems important is the issue you're dealing with??
Don't tell me you don't understand what I'm talking about. Right now, you could probably name me a million things that are important right now...and I mean REALLY important. But put yourself in a crisis...what are you thinking about now? Just that crisis now. A fight you had with a close friend and what you should have said to defend yourself, someone letting you down when you thought you could trust them, or having to make a decision that could completely change your life. You'd probably JUST be focusing on that situation. I know I would be...
How much better off would we be if we could just put our problems aside and look on the bright side?? It would definitely make life easier...
I'm not saying there's an answer...because if I knew the answer, I wouldn't have so much trouble with change...and being wrong all the time. I'm just saying that there HAS to be a better answer, instead of deciding that the world is over. And sometimes, if you wait long enough, something good will come out of those situations! I'm still waiting for the good in all the frustrating things that have happened to me, but I'm still holding out! In fact, just a few days ago, something really crazy happened.
I won't go into detail, because knowing my luck, the person will randomly read this and realize I'm talking about them. Again...story of my life :S
Anyways...something kinda random about me is that I LOVE giving gifts...LOVE IT! I like to be creative and come up with REALLY awesome gift ideas..and sometimes I spend more than I probably should...which is bad for me, but it's SO worth it to see the reaction of the person I'm giving it to :) So...after spending hours and hours looking for the perfect gift for someone, I finally decided what I wanted. Unfortunately, that idea was completely unavailable, and even though I called (and was put on hold for half and hour and transferred about 4 times...the whole call was probably an hour and a half long) and asked if anything could be done, they said it was a VERY slim chance that they could do anything for me.
I took the chance anyway, though, and put my name on every waiting list they had. This was a few weeks ago, and I wasn't expecting anything to come of it. HOWEVER...just the other day, I got the VERY surprising call that said my waiting had paid off :) Normally, I would have been SUPER excited...because to be honest, it's seriously one of the coolest gifts EVER...and there was a lot of thought and time put into it. I would challenge anyone to do better ;P
Buuuut...because of unexpected circumstances, it's no longer practical to give the gift to the intended person. Part of me thinks it's a good sign that maybe I should be so upset about the situation, and instead be happy that I was able to save my money and use it on other things. But the other part of me is like...DANG!! That was seriously the best gift ever!
This is where focusing comes in again. I have two choices...focus on the good, or focus on the bad. It SHOULD be an easy choice...but unfortunately, it's not, and I'm literally forcing myself to think about the good things. Now I'm going to practice...
1) I get to save the money that I was going to spend on that birthday gift and put it towards something else that will be just as awesome.
2) I won't be making that person feel awkward by giving them a gift from someone they really don't want a gift from.
3) It was MY birthday just the other day, and I got a blender, an awesome vintage suitcase, and lots of candy/pictures/notes from my amazing brothers and sisters :)
4) I feel less pressure to find the perfect birthday card.
5) This is completely unrelated, but I'm focusing on the fact that I just found my old opera CD and I'm reliving the old days...and remembering how much I really love opera :)
There! Not too bad...could be worse :)
I think the next thing I need to focus on is getting sleep tonight :P G'night, peeps!
