December!!

*sigh* I can't even believe how long it's been since I've written! Between school, homework, and working, I've had almost NO time to do ANYTHING! But since December is pretty much here, I thought I'd finally put down all the December activities! I'm actually really excited to do them :D I hope I'll have time :S Well...if I don't, I'll MAKE the time :)

Sooo...here's the list!!

December...

1) Write a letter to Santa! That way he has plenty of time to look it over before Christmas :)

2) Make a Christmas drawing and decorate it with glitter! Because glitter is perfect, and everyone loves glitter :D

3) Make a paper chain in Christmas colors and hang it somewhere in your house.

4) Make your breakfast in Christmas colors! Like green eggs and red ham...or red pancakes or green crepes!

5) Decorate one of the doors in your house all Christmasy! It sounds funny, but be creative!

6) Give a gift to your favorite teacher :)

7) Eat dessert for dinner...cuz that's the way the Christmas season rolls!

8) Write something you love about each family member on an index card and give it to them if you can :)

9) Make paper snowflakes and hang them somewhere in your house!

10) Toast marshmallows. This one might be a little tricky...if you don't have a woodstove (like me :S) toast them over a gas stove...or if you don't have one of those either, use a lighter :P

11) Tell your favorite holiday story! Record yourself and send it to someone special :)

12) Make a Christmas tree ornament and give it to someone special.

13) Make three Christmas cards and send them to people you love <3

14) Pop popcorn and string it! Then hang it in your house somewhere :)

15) Read a Christmas book...everybody loves to read :)

16) Go Christmas shopping! If you already have all your shopping done, go out and buy someone else a gift...someone who wouldn't be expecting one from you. It'll be a nice surprise :)

17) Watch three of your favorite Christmas movies...all in one night! Movie marathons ROCK!

18) Spend the night baking Christmas cookies. It'll make your house smell great :D

19) Hang mistletoe or a kissing ball somewhere and get a kiss :)

20) Record yourself singing a  Christmas carol and send it to someone!

21) Write your own Christmas story! Be creative :) It can be as long or as short as you want it to be, just have fun with it!

22) Read the Christmas story from the Bible...always, always, ALWAYS important to remember what Christmas is all about <3

I don't have the twenty-third, Christmas Eve, or Christmas Day down because I'm just going to take those as they get here! I might  not even have time to do them, but we'll see :)

I don't know how many times I'm going to say this, but I would LOOOOVE it if people did this with me :) If you send me pictures of you doing them with me, I'll stick them up on my blog! I know, it's not like you'll be famous or anything, but I still think it would be fun :) Just let me know if you want to!

Anyways...that's it for tonight!! Got TONS of homework to get done...then work tomorrow...yay :P Naw, I'm kidding! I love my job, I really do :P It's a childhood dream of mine to be a "paylady" as I used to call it...and it's just as fun as I'd always imagined :D Besides...I'm just thankful that I have a job at all...that's the most important thing :) Ciao!

Thanksgiving :)

Well, another Thanksgiving has successfully come and gone :) I hope everyone had a great time with their families...I certainly did! This year my family picked me up and we all went over to my aunt and uncle's house in Boston. It was a pretty small crowd this year...well, smaller than usual. I wouldn't call anything having to do with my family small...we're quite a bunch! :P

As an added bonus, there was a Jets vs. Patriots football game tonight! Half my family are Jets fans and half are Patriots fans, so it makes for a pretty loud and exciting game :) But tonight it was kind of a boring game...the Patriots pretty much crushed the Jets, so it wasn't a huge deal. I was too busy upstairs, however, watching stupid youtube videos with a few of my other sisters. I have to say, I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time! It was especially special being able to spend the time with them, too :) Those kids mean the world to me <3

The ride home was hilarious. It was just about midnight by the time we finally got to my apartment. I hopped out of the van and waved goodbye to all of them before climbing the steps to my apartment. It wasn't until I went in and closed the door behind me when I realized...

I was all alone.

At the end of the day, I have to face the reality that I live all by myself and the fun and games are all over. To be honest, it makes me pretty sad. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, however, and just be thankful (SUPER THANKFUL!) that I was able to spend the day with them today. It meant soooo much to me to spend a holiday with them. Holidays are really, REALLY important to me, for some reason. They just...ach...mean soooooo much! Lol...I'm a kid, I know :P But I really feel like holidays are when families can be together and just...enjoy each other, no matter what the situation are. During the holidays, and especially when I'm with my family, I really feel like I can forget all my problems and just....be happy.

Well....I used to feel that way. I still want to, but unfortunately, my past mistakes have made the holidays really tough for me to enjoy :/ I'm constantly faced with the consequences of the choices I made a year ago, and it kills me.

Sometimes life is compared to writing a book. But in my opinion, that's the word comparison you could ever come up with. When you're writing a book, you have the choice to go back and change a few words or paragraphs...maybe even a whole chapter. When you're living life, you don't have that option. You can't go back and change those few words that you said. You can't change what you've done. You just have to live with it.

Have any of you ever used Google Docs?? Well, you should...it's amazing! I've been using it a little with a good friend of mine who's writing a book. She shares the page with me, and we can both be reading it at the same time. The cool thing is, we can also both write at the same time! So while she's writing, I can go back and recheck her grammar or spelling or stuff like that. It's pretty cool!

Wouldn't it be nice if life was like Google Docs? I mean, you could share your life with God and he could just follow behind you, fixing your mistakes and touching a few things up. He could give you suggestions, throw in a little advice, and even tip you off about the ending! If only it was that easy, right?

*sigh* if only...

Instead, we're living life the same way I wrote  my essay during my midterm in Lit class this year...in pen and without going back to change anything. It was stupid, I know, but that's how I write! And guess what? I got a A on the paper, so HA! If only I was as successful in life as I was at that paper :/

What I'm trying to say is...life is full of second chances, but nothing we can do will erase what happened in the past. No matter what I do, I can't make holidays go back to what they were. There will always be a little reminder in the back of my mind why the holidays aren't as great as they used to be. But if I sit around and fuss about it, there won't be ANYTHING good about them! I've been given another chance to make holidays great again, and I'm not going to pass that up! I need the holidays, I really do. I need Easter. I need July 4th. I need Thanksgiving. I need Christmas. I need them all. I need them because those are the times when everyone is happy, and I feed off of that! I want to be happy so bad that I want to surround myself with happy people....the people I love most. That's what holidays are all about for me, and that's what I want for the rest of my life.

I didn't get as many pictures at Thanksgiving this year because I was too busy being crazy with the girls :P But here are a few that I liked :)

My family pretty much rocks :) I hope everyone had a FANTASTIC Thanksgiving this year :) The countdown for Christmas can officially start now :D

It's 1:58 in the morning, so I suppose people are out Black Friday shopping...lucky little buggers :P I don't have work until 11, so I have a few hours to sleep before I have to be up and ready to go! Bring it on....

Super Happy Monday!

ACH! It's been soooo super long since I've written! Last week was so insanely busy, I hardly had time to sit down! Work, school, and homework really wiped me out :S But GOOD NEWS!! I have almost all week to myself! I only have school tomorrow, then I have work on Black Friday and Saturday. Not a lot of hours, but hey...the 12 1/2 hours I worked the other day will make up for it :P

So normally Monday is that day that everyone dreads...but today I'm actually happy it's Monday! It's been a great day so far :) I got to sleep in this morning (yay!!) then my Grampa Hipke came and visited me around noon and brought me...A TV!! 

Super happy me :) I got it all hooked up and everything then I sat down with a sandwich and watched Mrs. Doubtfire. Oh my gosh...that movie is SOOOOO HILARIOUS!! If you haven't seen it, go watch it! It's amazing :D

And because I have nothing else to do today, I was looking through some old papers and stuff that I have in my guest/junk room :P (In other words, it's a room full of my junk that will eventually be a guest/random stuff room...whenever I get around to it!) I found this wicked cute little note, so I took a picture of it :)

This is the front. If you can't read it, it says, 

"Some Marzs are kind

Some are lame but not

one of them is as

great as you!

WE LOVE

YOU!

to true to true

p.s. jack and carson

And this is the back! It says,

"Some Marzs

are not as

nice as you

Love, Olivia

Isn't that the cutest thing ever?? It totally made my day :) I hung it on my fridge with a bunch of other notes I'd gotten from the kids. BEST! EVER!

I feel like I had so much to talk about before I started writing this, but I guess I don't have as much as I thought :S OH!! I was going to tell you about my new baby...I got a beta fish :) I named him James Bond after the new movie that just came out that i just LOVED!!! James Bond is my new hero :) I love him! I love him so much, I named my fish after him :)

James Bond <3

It's a terrible picture of him because he's so wiggly!! But he's white, and he has little bits of color all over him.. he's really adorable <3 I don't know if anybody read my other blog at any point, but I had two goldfish...well, I TRIED to have two goldfish, but they died pretty fast :/ Their names were Brandolese and Velena. Amazing names, I know :P Lol..actually, most people thought they were terrible, but hey. Whatever! I liked 'em :) Anyways...they didn't live for very long, sadly :( I'm thinking it was because they were goldfish, and I hear that betas live for a while. So I'm hoping James Bond will last me a long time :) If not, I give up!

I'm finding it SUPER hard to believe that Thanksgiving is this week! I don't even remember October, and November is just FLYING right by! I have NO idea where the time is going :P But the good news is, it's making school go by faster :) This year we're meeting at my Aunt and Uncle's new house in Boston, I think(?) or is it Lexington?? I don't remember, but somewhere in the city :) Good enough for me! I <3 the city :) 

We're already planning on being there really late because there's a football game that night that everyone wants to watch. It's the New York Jets against the New England Patriots! DEFINITELY a big game for my family! See, they're Tim Tebow fans, so whatever team he's on, they cheer for. Because of that, they've turned their backs on the Patriots and cheer for the Jets now. No, I take that back...not ALL of them have changed their minds. Kalen started the revolt, and only Jackson and Dad have stayed true to their team. Me and Mom? We just...go with the flow :P The last game the Jets and Patriots played was on Carson's birthday on October 21st. It was literally the Best. Party. EVER!

Those are my favorite pictures from the last game! Hopefully I'll be able to get some good ones during the next game :) SOOOO EXCITED!!

Anyways...I guess this was just a random post with random stuff :P I think i'll probably go watch another movie on my new TV :P Suggestions?? I have a few options...The Secret Window, Batman Begins, Iron Man, Moulin Rouge, K-19, or the old War of the Worlds. Ready? Set? Suggest!

Thinking Ahead! (For Once In My Life :P )

It's official...I'm hooked on Christmas music now...and actually I have been for the past month or so.I know I started a little early, but for me, Christmas music never gets old! Besides...I can listen to whatever I want! So there :P

It's almost halfway through the month of November now...how's your month been?? I have to admit, I'm still recovering from October! It went by sooooo fast, I can't even remember what I did all month! November 1st came and I was like "holy moley, what happened to October?!" They say time flies when you're having fun, but in this case, I don't think it was "fun that was making the time fly :P I'd say...school, work, and crazy life in general :) Being busy isn't a bad thing. In fact, I like keeping my life busy. It distracts me! Of course there are bad things about being busy..I feel like I'm missing out on stuff (like keeping up with this blog :S ). But at least I'm not bored, right?? That'd be terrible!!

So remember that thing I'm going to do every month? This month was "write-a-letter-to-three-people-every-Monday" month? Yeah, well that's not working as planned...lol :P I haven't given up on it, I'm just a couple days late for my second set of three. I'm going to do them, though, I promise! I already wrote one today, so I'll do my other two after I get home from Newburyport today! It's no biggie :P For December, I have that 24 days of Christmas fun idea. I'm actually WICKED psyched about doing it! It's gonna be soooo fun!! I have a bunch of ideas written down, but I haven't decided which ones I wanna do yet. If you have ideas, do tell! I'd love it if people did it with me. They're all wicked fun, and pretty simple, so I'm pretty sure everyone would be able to do them :)

Here are my ideas:

• Make an ornament yourself and give it to a neighbor or a friend. 
• Decorate a Christmasy door in your house. (Or every door! That might be fun too :P )
• Write a letter to Santa.
• Give a gift to a teacher
• Write your own Christmas story
• Go Christmas shopping and buy a toy for either a charity, or someone unexpected...like the kid in line behind you, or something. Basically, buy a gift for a stranger, just cuz it's nice :)
• Watch three of your favorite Christmas movies...all in one night!
• Make a Christmas drawing and decorate it with glitter...cuz who DOESN'T like glitter??
• Make three homemade Christmas cards and give them to family, classmates, coworkers, or neighbors!
• Eat dessert for dinner.
• Write something you love about every family member on an index card and give it to them.
• Spend a night baking Christmas cookies.
• Make a gingerbread house.
• Decorate your Christmas tree or help someone else decorate theirs.
• Make a paper chain in Christmas colors and hang it up in your house somewhere
• Get a plain white sock and some fabric markers. Write all the happy things you can remember on it from that year and hang it in your house.
• Hang some mistletoe in your house.
• Tell a favorite holiday story.
• Record yourself singing a Christmas carol and send it to someone :) 
• Read the Christmas story from the Bible
• Make a snowman or go sledding in your yard. (Hopefully there's snow!!)
• Read a Christmas book.
• String popcorn and hang it on your tree or somewhere in your house.
• Make paper snowflakes and hang them around your house.
• Sleep under your Christmas tree! (This one sounds fun :D )
• Toast marshmallows. (Some people have a wood stove or something...unfortunately, I don't. But I do have a gas stove, so I could always toast them over the burners :P )
• Make a red and green breakfast! Use food coloring to color your food in Christmas colors.

Those are the ideas I have so far! I don't know which ones I'm going to pick for each day yet, but I think most of those are pretty easy. Like I said, if you have ideas and want to do them with me, please tell me! If we do this all together, we can take pictures and put them all together and see how people did on their own things :) You can always text me the pictures too, if it's too hard to download/email them too. Whatever you wanna do. I just thought it'd be fun. You have plenty of time to think about it, but I thought I'd just throw those out there for now :) 

It's almost Thanksgiving, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get crey crey busy at the Burlington Coat Factory! I'm actually working on Black Friday this year! Annnnnd...I'm wicked excited about it! I love my job a lot, so the idea of working on a crazy busy day just sounds like so much for me :D Last year I went shopping on Black Friday with a few friends really early in the morning. I was a little disappointed with the turnout...the Rockingham Mall was too quiet :( I was hoping it would be mobbed, because that just sounds like FUN! Oh well :/ I think I went a few years ago with my mom too. Definitely an incredible time...not because it was insanely busy, but because my mom was insanely pregnant with my sister! Lol...she was 8 months pregnant with Averil (who was born December 17th) and she took me Black Friday shopping. How awesome is that?! Thanks Mom :D You're the best!!

Hope everyone has a great rest of the week! Hard to believe Thanksgiving is coming up so quickly :S Fear the humans, turkeys...fear the humans. We're coming for you...

Welll....

Wellll....I have something to confess. Today was Monday, so I was supposed to write three more notes today. Unfortunately, I didn't get around to it :S I had work this morning until 7:30 tonight. When I got home, I had dinner, and then realized I had a LOT of homework to get done before tomorrow! Ugh...not fun :/ But I have nothing going on tomorrow afternoon, so I'm planning on getting those done then. I promise!! I already have my whole day planned out. School, letters, walk to the post office, drop letters off, walk to the bus station, go the to Loop, watch a movie, come home, do more homework :P

The reason I have to plan my days out now is that so I don't get bored. Boredom is never good for me, so I try to fill my day up with fun, interesting, or just plain distracting stuff. Plus, it's only $1.25 to take the bus somewhere. That's why I usually go to Newburyport to do homework or stuff...it's cheap, and I get stuff done :) My next Newburyport study date is set for Wednesday! Yayy!!

For those of you that don't know, I work at the Burlington Coat Factory in the customer service area. I do stuff like returns and layaways. I love my day, I really do, but I definitely have to deal with "less than ideal" customers. And when I say "less than ideal," I actuallly mean nasty people :P Some of the unpleasant situations I find myself in frequently are Spanish-speaking-only people, people buying items with no tags, people returning items with no receipt, and people who want to make 4 or 5 layaways at one time. Ok...definitely difficult situations, but nothing I can't or haven't been able to handle. But today, I faced an entirely new challenge.

Someone who was bent and determined on making my day terrible.

That might be a little bit of an exaggeration, but she definitely wasn't making it easy for me. She came in with a million receipts, wanting to return everything she had, then buy it all back using coupons. I've had to do that before, so that part was really no big deal. Well...it WASN'T a big deal, until I realized that she had two coats instead of just one. I apologized and went to fix my problem, but she took that opportunity to tell me how terrible I was at my job. And she was NOT nice about it.

I have to admit...........I wanted to punch the woman in the face. But instead, I fixed the problem quietly, did everything she wanted me to do, smile, and wished her a fantastic night. They say smiles are contagious. Well, this woman must have gotten her smile vaccine, because she growled a "yeah, whatever" and huffed away. I don't understand what makes people that way...all I can do is try to be nice to people like that. Even though it's SO RIDICULOUSLY HARD TO DO!!

Anyways...that was my adventure for the day. Moral of the story? Be nice to nasty people :P

What If...?

Do you ever have one of those nights when you'd just like to crawl into bed and sleep for a few days straight? I'm having one of those nights :/ It's not the night itself that got me in a "down" mood...it was just the circumstances. One of my biggest fears in the world is rejection...and I had to face some of that tonight :( And it hurt. I don't understand it, and I don't think I even want to try. Honestly, I wouldn't want to have a conversation long enough to find out exactly why it happened. I just want to accept that it did, and move on with my life.

If only, right?

What if it really was that easy? What if I could just take a deep breath, swallow the pain, and move on with my life? What if rejection didn't actually hurt? What if...? *sigh* I guess there's no real answer to those questions. Like I said...accept and move on. Tonight I tried to do that. I didn't cry. I didn't fall apart. I didn't even sit on my kitchen floor! (sounds weird, but seriously...my kitchen floor is a great place to think. I sit with my back up against my warm oven, drink a cup of tea, and just think about stuff. You should try it sometime...the world looks like a completely different place when you're sitting on your kitchen floor :P ) But I didn't react that way this time. Instead, I decided to go out to Bible study and hang with some of my bestest friends in the whole world. They never fail to make me laugh, and I ALWAYS have a good time. I forget my troubles, live in the moment, and laugh until I sound like a man. (They'd understand that reference.)

But then I have to go home. And for me, home means sitting alone on my bed...not laughing anymore...and thinking over the events of the day. Once again I'm faced with the reminder that I've been rejected, and it hits me again...almost harder. The reality sinks in and I start to "feel." Depending on the situation, I either feel angry, upset, or just plain sad. Tonight I'm sad. Very sad.

I never promised myself I'd never be sad again, but I did try and promise myself that I would make better choices about dealing with my sadness. So far, I think I've done okay. It just...stinks to be sad :( Anyways...I'm not sure what the purpose of this post was, except that it was a good way to vent a little and deal with my sadness by expressing myself, rather than bottling all my feelings up inside. I've found that doesn't work so well :S

On a positive note, tomorrow is Monday! Sounds weird to be excited about a Monday, but it's the second Monday of the month. And on Monday in November, I write a note to three people. I already received texts back from the three people I wrote to last week, and they seemed to appreciate the notes...so I think it was a success :) I'm excited to do it again tomorrow!

Like I've said before, please feel free to join in! I think it'd be great if people did it along with me...it's nice to have company :) Plus it's a nice feeling to know that someone appreciated something you did for them. In fact, it's a great way to counteract rejection...acceptance :)

What To Do...

This man's got the right idea!

Well, it's the day after elections, and we all know how that went. I'm in the Newburyport library right now in the reading room, and all the awesome people over the age of 55 have come in to read the papers. I'm surrounded by about 8 who are reading the headlines about Obama's win, Obama's speech, and Obama's future. But there's this one guy who really caught my eye. He's just sittin' there...reading the COMICS page! Now HE'S got the right idea :)

Anyways, that has nothing to do with what I was planning to write about. I just thought it was sooo cute, so I sneaked a picture and had to share it with all of you people who don't read this blog :)

I absolutely LOVE coming into Newburyport to study! It's usually every Wednesday I get up in the morning and take a mile and a half walk to the bus station at 9:45 to get to the bus by 10:30. I'm usually there early, so I sit on the bus, chillin', listening to my Ipod, and people watching. The ride itself is about an hour and fifteen minutes long. You think it'd be boring, but it's really not! There are enough stops that the passengers change all the time, and that makes people watching more fun :) It's almost noon by the time I get to downtown, and then I walk down the street to Starbucks. (Awww yisss STARBUCKS!!) I get myself something to eat (usually a bagel or sandwich or something) and a venti caramel apple spice, find myself a window to sit by, set up my laptop, and do homework. I'm finding that I can focus better in a busy environment as opposed to my quiet apartment. Don't ask me why...I have NO idea.

When I'm done homework, sometimes I'll walk about a half mile to the Tannery and hang out in Jabberwocky (the *AMAZING* book store!) for a while. I have to confess, when I do go to Jabberwocky, I spend most of my time reading the children's books. Don't judge...or Harold will draw and big black hole with his purple crayon and push you into it. If I don't go to the book store, I usually either go walk by the water for a while, or I come up the library (like today) and chill until the bus gets here :)

I'm pretty sure you don't really care what I do in my spare time, but the reason I told you is because I'm curious what other people do to keep themselves busy! I know people have pretty cray cray lives nowadays, but when you do have free time, what do you do with it? Read a book? Watch tv? Just sit and relax until life catches up with you? Tell me! I'd love to know :)

I doubt I'll get any responses to this, but that's ok :) Life goes on. However you spend your free time, just make sure you're doing something you love. Life is too short to spend it unhappy. Take a break every once in a while and remind yourself that everything is going to be ok...or spend time with someone who will tell you that :)

And now...off to do more homework! Love it :P Oh by the way, if you happen to have free time sometime, you've GOT  to read this story I just read for homework! It's only a few pages long, so it won't take you until next year to read it. It's called The Shadowy Third by Ellen Glasgow. It's great...now GO READ IT! *hits you with book until you go read the story* Ciao!

Marly

The Thing With Feathers...

The awesome old guy gave me

four stickers :) Yayy!!

Today was Election Day! Hard to believe it's been four years since the last one...time really flies. This was my first year being able to vote, and I'm happy to say I did! I can't say I'm completely happy with the outcome, though. In fact, I'm VERY unhappy with the outcome. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against President Obama as a person. I respect his authority because I have to, but I certainly don't agree with the direction he's taking our country. I don't understand a lot about politics, but there are certain things I do understand, and I have very strong opinions about them. I won't go into it, because it just makes me upset, but I read a verse tonight and I think it kinda applies.

Psalm 119:163 "I hate and abhor lying, But I love your law."

In my opinion, politics are like a huge spider web of lies, and yet they run our country. If only God's laws were the ones for our country today. Wouldn't that just be awesome??

I have an American Literature class at college that sometimes turns into a politics class. (Honestly, I hate when my professor starts talking politics because I know almost NOTHING about all the technical stuff, and whenever I try and defend my opinion, I end up looking like a fool.) Before class actually starts, a bunch of classmates and I stand out in the hallway and chat about random stuff. Sometimes movies, sometimes work...ya know, fun stuff! But lately, because of the election, the subject has been politics. For any of you know know anything about Massachusetts, you know it's a very liberal state. That fact became very obvious to me just by talking to my classmates. Not only do they stand there and bash the republicans, they stand there and bash my religion. Ouch.

I have to admit, I haven't been defending my faith as much as I probably should. And they really lay into me sometimes! But today I decided it was time to take a stand. I've made a friend in class...his name is Tim...and we discuss things in class together all the time. Poetry, short stories, our favorite authors, whatever. We get along pretty well! Today in school, however, he really started to bother me with some of the stuff he was saying about religion. So I finally said something. I told him that I believed the Bible and that, sometimes, what he says about my religion really bothered me. That shut him up for a second, so I took the time to explain why it bothered me, and he actually listened. I told him that I didn't support gay marriage, but I don't go around tearing into gay people all the time and telling them how stupid and wrong they are. It's just as wrong for people to go around tearing into religious people, and I kind of had to explain that one to him...right after I found out he was an atheist :S I don't know how I get myself into these things, but somehow, they find me :P Well...without going into the whole conversation, I'll just say it ended well, and we're still friends, but now they know where I stand. Not sure if that's going to change how I'm treated, but all in all, I'm glad I stood up for my religion. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

I feel like I should have more to say about this moment in our country's history, but I really don't. What is there to say? Obama is president...let's see what happens. Honestly, I see nothing good coming for the future, but who's to say we still can't hope? Hope is always existing...somewhere. I had this conversation with a friend of mine just a few days ago. We were discussing hope, and it really got me thinking. Are we ever completely hopeless? I think in whatever situation we're in, we always have a little bit of hope for something better, even if we don't realize it's there. Have you ever heard that poem by Emily Dickinson? Well, read it...right now.

Hope 

    

Hope is the thing with feathers 

That perches in the soul, 

And sings the tune--without the words, 

And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard; 

And sore must be the storm 

That could abash the little bird 

That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land, 

And on the strangest sea; 

Yet, never, in extremity, 

It asked a crumb of me.

I think that's just beautiful. "Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, and sings the tune--without the words..." *sigh* I don't know how many of you appreciate poetry, but the more I read this, the prettier it seems to me. Have you every been walking around your house...cleaning or doing your homework or whatever...and you find yourself just humming to yourself? You might not even realize you're doing it, but you're singing a tune without any words. You're conscious of the song, but you're not aware that you're singing it. Maybe it's just me :P Well, that's kinda like hope. It's there, but you're not really focusing on it. I think that's a beautiful thought.

So even when it seems like things are hopeless because Obama was reelected, remember that somewhere, deep inside, there is hope for something better. He might make a mess of our country, but we have to look and hope for something better. And we know it's coming! It has to :) Hope is the knot we tie and hold on to when we reach the end of our rope. Hope is the caterpillar sitting around all wrapped up waiting for something wonderful to happen. Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.

Chin up, peoples! The happy days will come :)

Marly

"The Beginning"

I always wonder how to start these things...blogs. And believe me, I've started many! If you know me well, you know I have two middle names: Marlena Amber Joy Hipke. But if you know me REALLY well, you know I really have three middle names: Marlena Amber Joy Procrastination Hipke. I have a really hard time finishing things that I've started :S My mom knows that better than anybody ;D

People are always telling me "you should blog!" "You're such a great writer!" I just humbly thank them, because I can't say I'm a terrible writer...I've gotten A's on all my American Lit papers this year, but creative writing is MUCH different, and I'm not sure I have what it takes to write a successful blog. But hey, practice makes perfect! Maybe I'll get better as I go, maybe not..who knows :P

Like I said, I've started many blogs...and deleted many blogs. I can't seem to stick with them. But this time is different. I'd love to explain why, but that means starting at the very beginning...and I'm not exactly sure where that is. "The Beginning" is a very slippery and sneaky place...you never really know where it is, so you just have to make a random guess. I'll try my very best not to put you to sleep with this...but if you do get bored, it's not my fault. You're the one reading :P

Today is November 5, 2012.

Do you remember what you were doing exactly one year ago from today? I do.

November 5, 2011 was one of the most life changing days of my entire life...and I can't say that in a good way. Unfortunately, it was only the beginning of a really bad year for me. I remember almost every detail about that day, and I can't say it brings back happy memories. It was a pretty dark part of my life, and as much as I wish I could go back and change the way things happen, I can't...I just have to live with them. This is where I get stuck. Last night, I was VERY stuck. The memories of all the mistakes I've made really hit me hard and I started questioning whether or not it was worth trying to make things better. It'd been a whole year, but what was different? How had I improved? Had I improved at all? It was all so very confusing.

I talked...well, whined is a better word for it...to a few people about how miserable I was. How much I just wanted to give up trying to be happy. How it wasn't worth it to get help anymore. How I wish I'd never been born. All that kind of stuff. Thinking back on it now, it seemed really silly. I expected this day to be terrible...I was planning to sit around, eat chocolate, and cry all day about how miserable I was and how mad I was at myself for all the bad decisions I'd made over the past year. How stupid is that? It seems silly and childish to me now, but last night, it was the most grownup thing I could think of to do.

But that whole plan changed after I talked to my gramma and my mom....and they both told me the same thing. They said that instead of thinking about all the bad things that had happened since last November 5th, why not turn it around and make it a good day? In my stupidity and anger, I pushed the idea away, thinking there was nothing good I could do about that day. But after a while, it really started getting to me. They suggested turning it into a day when I make resolutions for myself...like you do at the beginning of a new year.

I've been told that I'm a very artsy, dramatic person. As a result, I'm easily inspired...and what Mom and Gramma said really inspired me. Why be miserable for another whole year when I could just turn it around and make it better? Why sit out under a rain cloud when I could be inside by the warm fire? Why eat tofu when I have a chocolate bar sitting right next to me?? It was a no-brainer! It's time to turn things around.

So...the result? This blog. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do with it, but I can promise myself that it's going to be fun and inspiring for me. Every month I'm going to do something fun, inspirational, or just uplifting in general. I have ideas already, but if you have any more, hit me with them! I have November and December planned out already. Granted, I get pretty busy with school, work, and other stuff, but I'm going to try to make these goal achievable so that I have no excuses ;D So...here we go...

For the month of November, I'm going to write notes of niceness to at least three people every Monday and send them as snail mail. Everybody likes snail mail, and it's fun to send! Besides, it's healthy (in every way) to take some time and tell someone how much they mean to you, or thank them for something they've done...even if it was a long time ago.

For the month of December, I'm going to do a Christmas countdown! December is actually a really tough month for me...holidays got harder once I was away from my family, so I have to work extra hard to keep my spirits up! Soooo...every day, for 24 days, I'm going to do a fun activity that's Christmas related! I'll make a post about it (hopefully!) every day.

*sigh* So that's the story, idea, and plan! Please, please PLEASE feel free to do this with me. I think it'd be really cool to do it with other people. Everybody has a unique life, so it's not like we're all going through the same thing, but every once in a while, it's nice to do uplifting things together! So if you wanna do it with me, please do! If you want, you can send me pictures of what you're doing, and I'll stick them up on my blog so people can see how awesome you are too :)

Oh! I forgot to tell you about my second goal! First, a story. (well, sorta) On January 1, 2010 I promised myself that I would do my devotions every day that year. Every. Single. Day. It sounds kinda lame that I'm hyping this up. Everybody should do their devotions and read the Bible every single day. But remember my third middle name? Procrastination? Exactly. But guess what? I did it! Well, almost. That year, my Uncle Steve died (I miss him :( ) and I missed that day and had to make up for it the next day. But every other day of the year, I did it! I still find it hard to believe, but I'm determined to do it again. So starting today, November 5, 2012, I'm going to do it again. And this time, I'm going to read through the whole Bible in a year! Whoop Whoop!!

So that's it! Sleeping yet?? Lolol...Just kidding. I'm lucky if you got this far :P If you did, you get a prize *hands you chocolate* Enjoy! :)

Marly

Here are the first three notes :)